Chapter 5

Jan Bull took a walk one day at the bottom of the ocean.
Not much to see without the usual lantern-fish around.
As it walked, it noticed a feeling in his back that made him gasp and gulp in water.
His back felt tingly so he spun around to look at his back.
Well, he discovered that you can't really do that, but when he turned around, he saw a very familiar creature.
And the tingly feeling in his back stopped and became a prickly feeling that made his stomach also feel strange.
"Jan Bull Hahn." the creature spoke. Jan Bull imagined a blazing fire burning out of control. Jan Bull and the creature stared into each other's eyes without blinking or missing a beat.

The creature took a big step forward and leaned in until Jan Bull's face and its face were touching. The fire in Jan Bull's mind turned into a ferocious black hole sucking in everything around it.
"YEEP!" the creature quickly said, pursing its lips. It bent forward briefly to look at the ground and then stood back up, it's face slightly reddened.
Then the creature raised its arm and twisted the three hairs on top of Jan Bull's head. This was too much!
Jan Bull started shaking and removed the creature's hand from his head and protected the three flimsy hairs with his hands.
The creature's right cheek went up and made its eye smaller. Jan Bull showed off his yellow teeth.
Then the creature made a big "POP!" sound with its lips and it raised its arm again, and Jan Bull was scared that it might touch his three hairs again so he placed his hand over the creature's hand and pushed it down. The creature stared at Jan's hand. Before Jan Bull Hahn could pull his hand away, the creature wrapped its fingers in a death grip around Jan Bull's tiny finger and together they began their walk further into the black, endless ocean.

Chapter 4

• Jan Bull soon grew tired of Ariel.
• She was too happy. Too curious. Too fish-like.
• He didn't know how to get rid of her. But the problem was, he didn't know HOW to get rid of her. He feared that he might be stuck with a pretty and cheerful and rich princess forever. Every time he saw her cheery face he wanted to die.
• Finally, when he was so fed up with having someone who "cared" , he punched her.
• Jan Bull Hahn Sebastian PUNCHED. ARIEL.
• Jan hoped that would be the end of that, but unfortunately, punches in the water aren't quite as effective as they are on land, and so Ariel wasn't hurt at all. She thought he was just having some kind of weird reflex or something.
• Poor Jan Bull.
• I think the problem with Jan Bull was that he didn't know how to make very many facial expressions.
• He only knew how to cry and to grimace, which Ariel called, "smiling".
• Other than that, Jan Bull's face was always the same. Always expressionless and empty.
• And his life stayed miserable until he learned about the power of sticking out your tongue at princesses.
• And that's just what he did.
• And finally, he got dumped.
• Ariel cried very hard.
• When she left, Jan Bull prepared himself for the feeling which is called, "happy".
• But for some reason, "happy" never came.
• Jan Bull couldn't describe how he felt. He looked around at him to try to find something that could explain how he felt. And he found it. Jan Bull felt like fish dung.
• He found a dead clam. He felt "rotten".
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Chapter 3

" I know I won't survive in this place!" cried Jan Hahn. 
Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the little mermaid Ariel came. 
Ariel saw him and stared at him in shock.
It was an encounter of human and mermaid!
Ariel was both frightened and highly disgusted at Jan Hahn's pale deathly face so she tried out her magic to turn him into Sebastian.

• Too bad Ariel didn't have no magic though. And so all she could do in her power was to brainwash him that he was red, that he was crabby, and that Sebastian was now a part of his name.
• Jan Bull Hahn Sebastian.
• Ariel decided to become Jan Bull's girlfriend!
• But Jan Bull didn't love her though. He thought she was gross.
• Ariel saw Jan Bull as a sad, helpless soul in need of love and affection.
• Jan Bull didn't see himself that way.
• Jan Bull Hahn Sebastian didn't want love and affection. 
  He hated "care".
• But since he didn't know how to communicate to girls, he concluded that it would be safest for him to just shut up and do what she told him.
• Ariel got bored and tried to make him eat some seaweed.
• But Jan Bull's diet consisted only of small stones, sand, and coral.
• The seaweed was slimy and Jan Bull wanted to die.
• But Jan Bull learned that if he made a certain face and showed off his yellow teeth, Ariel would calm down and not be as much of a worrywart.
  This is the face he learned to make:
  
  
  
  
  

Chapter 2

• Well, one day, as Jan was struggling in the deep dark ocean, he saw something small and bright flitting happily by.
• For some reason, Jan Bull didn't get into a nervous breakdown like he usually did when he saw something so small and yet so happy.
• The little creature was.. so cute.. and so.. innocent-like.
• Jan Bull suddenly grew quite bashful, but he just couldn't resist the urge to follow it. What was making it so... happy?
  The little creature was clearly in sheer delight.
  It began to twirl.
  It twirled and twirled and twirled and twirled.
  Jan Bull began to get dizzy from all the twirling.
  Jan Bull looked a little more closely...
  Oh my! Oh my! The poor little creature was spinning out of control!
  Jan Bull rushed to it's side and caught it with his bony hands.
  His hands shaking madly from both fear of the creature's strange happy giddiness and also from worry, Jan Bull asked, "W-what's wrong with you?"
  It was to Jan Hahn's shock and dismay that the little creature's happiness quickly vanished, and it's eyes open wide, very very wide, and they filled with tears.
  And then! It gave a little "burp" and passed away.
  And right in Jan Bull's hands!Jan Bull got a queer feeling in him.
  He.. felt very strange.
  As he stared into the little creature's tiny dead face, he realized that he was lonely!
  He didn't know what to do next and so he panicked.
  He threw the little creature away from him with all his might... but Jan Bull was weak and frail and so the creature stopped just about two feet from his face, and slowly started drifting away.
  The poor little creature.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jan Bull began to cry, which caused his brain to hurt, prompting him cry even louder.
  Jan only knew one song.
  He sang it to help him feel better.
  He didn't really understand the meaning of the song, though.
  The song went like this:
  
  
  "I'm a little girl. Just a little girl.
  I'm in a big big world,
  In a world of my own.
  Full of sunshine so gold,
  The world is mine, in my hold.
  I'll do my best to beat the bad guys
  and to hold in my hunger.
  But in the end I know I'm a dead fish."
  
  
  
  

Chapter 1

• Innay, Lebyasd, Nahods!
• Yppah yad ot uoy!
• Pagnil alap.
  
  
• Once upon a time,
• There was a lil child named Jan Bull Hahn.
• It was a very strange child.
• It did strange stuff like blinking excessively, being afraid of nighttime, crying whenever something fell to the ground, and getting into depression whenever it heard a "crunch" sound.
• Because Jan Bull Hahn was afraid of these things, it decided to live in the ocean with the lantern-fish deep in the ocean.
• You see, since Jan Bull Hahn blinked excessively, it didn't have a problem with seeing in the ocean.
• Deep in the ocean, Jan Bull couldn't tell if it was day or night.
• It couldn't really hear when things fell to the ground, but if ever it did, the tears helped to lubricate its eyes. It was still better than hearing or seeing things fall to the ground on land.
• The only problem was the "crunch" sound whenever the lantern-fish would eat something.
• And so Jan Bull was always in severe depression.
  These were the days of Jan Bull Hahn.